Not everything in this life really deserves your focus. But when you discover and purpose yourself to those things which do, powerful results (and relationships, and meaning, and opportunities) can manifest themselves. I, for one, am not a master at giving things which deserve my attention the full attention they deserve. I am king, however, of spreading myself over many expanses. I’ve painted art, crafted cocktails, and consulted a number of bands. For myself, I write music, manage artists, and manage to write my own press releases.
Now I find myself in the midst of stability struggles (Tauruses unite) while launching my dream career. I find an extreme desire to shed the physical things, but really enjoy those atmospheric Fear the Walking Dead episodes. I’ve never held a serious relationship (I am single, DM me please), instead valuing the emotional connection from every human encounter, even strangers. I abstain from sex mostly because I don’t find the value in meaningless sex, but I am always looking for that “FOMO” Tinder match.
Does this make me imbalanced? Am I superimposed? Does my indecision spell trouble for a hefty career path?
Whatever I am, here’s where I’m at. Last November I was in a car accident. It wasn’t my first, it’ll hopefully be my last. But it taught me a lot of lessons. For example:
- Life is short. Live it how you want to be remembered. Or how you want.
- If your attention isn’t where it should be, life will redirect you (but you have to listen).
- Communication is paramount when you’re a human.
- You’re behind the wheel. If you’re in an accident, it’s your fault.
- There’s no insurance policy for missed life experiences.
I fiercely remember speaking with a family member after that accident and hearing some balancing words. “Maybe this will give you the chance to really understand how your actions impact those around you.” As it related to the accident, which was my fault, those words helped me to realize how a cognizant, healthy driver of a motor vehicle could easily take someone’s life by simply looking from the road for a split second. No one was remotely harmed in the inspiration of this blog post.
In fact, after walking away from the wreckage and making a friend out of the other individual involved, I decided to challenge myself: to slow down; to appreciate the things I still have in this world. To exist without a car, now a PTSD-ridden experience (from Uber drivers to drunk drivers hitting me, it’s a complicated relationship), I’ve opted to get around downtown Austin as much on my bike as possible.
But the lessons didn’t stop there. They continued thrusting themselves upon my brain-matter (more importantly, my body-space). I’ve been in the Emergency Room post-cycle accident. My family has experienced the most devastating loss. We’ve had health scares. Our LGBT community has experienced more loss than we should ever have to admit. And instability is frightening.
Loss is devastating, bone-cringing, and sadly it is a part of life. Some day we will all experience terrible loss, and some day we will be lost to this world. What we can do today and tomorrow, though, is strive to make a difference; to impact our communities in positive, newly sustainable ways; to give love to those who need it the most; to educate ourselves about all people; to open our minds to the things of which are hardest to give our attention.
And here I sit, writing this blog post, with no aim other than to share my inner-most thoughts, my life lessons, my happenstance with you in hopes you may find value in the situations I’ve experienced personally and vicariously. Some great, some unrelatable. I’m baring all as I aim to process and grow. I’ve a burning desire to understand and facilitate meaningful conversation. I’d like to educate myself by welcoming critique. We exist in a world where Instagram’s photo-ready filters suggest perfection. Add to the mix an “Influencer’s” desire to hold up truth and perfect phrases along with each photo, where’s the real opportunity to communicate and evolve?
With an expectation to present, without publicly showing the real growth phase or developmental process, we’re isolating ourselves more today than before the advent of modern computers. We’re intrinsically ballasted to expect others are expecting we expect certain assumptions, but my momma told me to never make assumptions. So here I am to communicate and grow; to evolve and manifest the conversations I wish to see in this world. And sometimes share something simply fascinating.
I want to explore subjects like angles, societal fears, minimalism, addiction, technology, social interaction, unspoken languages, marketing, rural mindsets, white privilege, American establishmentarianism abandonment, death, social media and its subsequent culture, and political language/reasoning (and why it still exists). *Breath*. I also want to explore where and why habits are formed, the power of education, my personal battles, societal limitations and expectations, the purposes we seek of life, sponsored content, dispensable live music, the reasons (and difference in frequencies in which) we communicate, grassroots movements, and why we speak. And so much more.
If you’ve read this far, I feel it important to share with you:
- I’m relearning some words. Not their meaning, but their value, impact.
- I really should be doing something other than blogging.
- Life stories and fascinations!
- My age; it’s greater than 20 and no higher than 27
I feel (metaphorically) chained. Stuck in a rut, perpetuated by my past self’s life perspectives. The need to break this mold has never been so epiphanic. I want to live outside the lane and push the boundaries of not only my career, but my personal life. There are many I have to thank for providing me the physical and mental realities relevant to my continued sustainability (true for all of us). Those around me are part of who I am today, through no doing of my own. With this blog I hope to provide, at some point down the line, at least a shimmer of a light someone may need to further push their own boundaries.
A smile can go so far. A conversation can go ever farther. But meaningful discussion has deep impact. Meaningful discussion can heal wounds, bash borders, and provoke peace. Meaningful discussion is a thing our world needs; debate and constructive criticism. Whenever it can get it. If you’re along for the journey, grab your backpack and your tennis shoes. We’re not driving around the Grand Canyon, we’re hiking the damned beauty. Taking pictures. Camping out, and discovering that hidden watering hole (Havasu Falls – if you DM me a plane ticket to such a place, I will gladly accompany you and fill your time with meaningful discussion).
I want there to be more meaning to my life, if for no reason other than to clarify my own limits of understanding. I want to learn from those who have experienced more than I. As you see fit or feel compelled, don’t hesitate your comments and conversation. This world as architecture and culture is defined by its people. What do you have to say?
All the Best,